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Writer's pictureAmanda Riddell

A letter from the Emergency Room

Yes, seeing a friendly face makes me feel better, but I’m no professor and that’s not where I see my career.


I was wearing a skirt when I sang Finishing the Hat. And that’s a style I dig: my brown jacket plus skirts.


The wonderful thing about being indie is that I can defy the Government with my short films.


But no, I wasn’t told to include the Maori activist: I wrote that of my own volition. I wrote that scene for the common room as part of my whole show.


I don’t want to do the show anymore: that’s because you people are sniffing around, spies/lurker.


I cannot handle the pressure. I don’t want to be the poster child for trans rights.


And if you dislike my movie script then there won’t be any other version of Shipwrecked.


It is a film or it is a radio play: those are the versions.


-


I realised that I don’t want fake friends for TV; I want real friends for real life.


So if you want to help me, whanau, then write to me and call me to hang without ulterior motives.


I appreciate that: Emmett is great at that.


-


I don’t want the glamorous life: I want to feel that you respect my life choices enough to see how this life is what I want.


It’s not glamorous, and if you want my ‘trey’ side to die, then stop insinuating that you know me better than I know myself.


That’s a sore spot for me, and I am sick of feeling infantilised. I’m 28 and I have lived a full life with a lot of variety.


As for spirit animals: I dig kea. Dogs are ok too.


-


This fragile state is temporary: I should have a counsellor and medical weed by mid-Feb.


Apparently I can get medical weed despite bipolar. So yeah, things are looking up, but the loneliness got to me this month.


-


I haven’t had a social life for ages, so I think this episode taught me that I’d rather build that.


I realise I could make friends via film, but that would never be authentic - I can’t think of anyone from films who is my real friend.


Nah, Meesh isn’t, and she has repeatedly demonstrated that she’s only a work friend.


Ethan, Jake and Peter aren’t either as they don’t write to me and haven’t spoken to me for a very long time.


I think Friends is garbage TV. Just saying..


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I want a life, not a simulacrum.


And because I haven’t sold my scripts, there is no obligation to produce


This is why I refuse academia: pressure to publish drives me mental.


So if the blob wants to meet me, then they should invite me to things.


-

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