So, I told you that I was experiencing muscle weakness. I told you that my hands weren't feeling 100%. I told you that I didn't want to play or sing. You ignored me. This is proof that you only believe I'm valid if I'm playing music for people that refuse to pay me for all the mahi that it takes to keep oneself in shape.
You didn't see fit to pay me for my writing or composing, then you're bitching that I won't licence my script to you for free? Fuck is something wrong with your priorities, you dicks!! - I've had OOS/RSI before when I was in Year 10, and it sucked then as well. This is why the theatre dorks and the NZSM are on my shit list. They need to grow up, treat me like a human being, and stop blaming it all on the weed: has it ever occurred to them that I simply don't like them, and that's because they're selfish and entitled? That's why I lost my temper.
Their attitude is why I turned down the $1 million that Weeded Out was worth, yet they haven't changed their attitude: they prefer to blame me for being a dirty stoner, rather than examining their own behaviours and how they might have contributed to creating a toxic environment which forced me to move to Johnsonville. - So, given that the pressure you lot have applied to me is actually causing physical and mental health problems, I think it's fair that Wellington gives up on Tina, and gives up on me gigging so that they can hear the songs that I'm known for, instead of supporting my vision of funding an album to record those songs with a band. As I've said repeatedly, that, plus an apology, is what it takes for me to participate in the cultural life of the city.
Make me part of your social lives, rather than wishing I'd ensure the Amanda Michelina gravy train gets a bunch of you lot paid, despite the transphobic things you said.
Or, better yet, leave me alone to finish my book. I just made a 20 hour documentary that I've put online for free, even though it wasn't free to make. What more do you want?
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Why the apology? Because I want to see some contrition, and that's the way to do it. It's fair to say that a bunch of privileged people massively abused their privilege and power to try and force me to do their bidding. They've been unrepentant, and they've kept it up for almost two and a half years. In those two and a half years, I briefly had a job, but then lost it over the stigma that those people perpetuated, I was called a fixated sicko for supporting a friend of mine, and I had a total nervous breakdown that I'm honestly still recovering from. All over pressure to make a movie to save my alma mater - who have never invested in my career - or a bunch of people that have never invited me to collaborate on any of their ideas, but felt that they had the inherent right to 'fix' my idea.
This is the end of the line for all that bullshit. As I said on Facebook, these people are on final notice, and I'm going to lawyer up if this pressure to make a movie doesn't go away.
And no, Tina will NEVER be therapy. It's a giant lie.
It literally feels like I'm being mentally assaulted by those people. Instead of respecting my process, they essentially broke into my flat, tied me up and told me to make them rich.
That's why I've said no to the NZSO and the NZSM. People in Wellington really have no valid excuse for their behaviour, and that's precisely why they're so embarrassed to apologise to me imo.
Previous excuses included: 'We hold you directly responsible for the occupation of Parliament'
'We don't think you're really trans, so we think it's ok to insult you into detransitioning.' 'We think your fixation on Chloe is unhealthy' -- well, did anyone ask her what…