I don't know if I want to be engaged. I definitely don't want to be Jane.
I don't want to be part of the guitar scene. That's what I've learned... I like the old people from guitar society, but I don't like that many of the other guitarists.
Honestly, why do you think Jane usually let me ride in the car with the visiting players? Because I had grown-up shit to say to them.
And no, I do not want to 'be Chloe' -- I prefer to work on my activism.
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I like Mike and Nick and Chris and Rameka, but I'm not a student and honestly the whole vibe is sorta coloured by that. I don't want to go to the Bristol and play pool. 🤣
I don't want Jake because he needs to accept that he didn't write me.
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Yeah, I know Gordon likes my rep and also probably my compositions. But I'm not re-arranging the Preludes.
They exist in the form they exist in. I am not changing them - I envision a certain sound, and that is the sound that I want to produce.
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It's funny that you're telling me to drink to try and calm me down.
This is why I don't take people's advice about my drug use. Few of you are stoners, music folk, and the Preludes are a testament to me and stoned composition.
Pushing me about whatever crap you people have on your agenda is probably a waste of time, plus it doesn't make me feel like I'm on holiday.
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I know you are, Chloe, but I'm not on holiday atm. Now that I've been paid by work, my holiday can begin.
But yeah... this was just a bad day.
And I don't think that an E trip will solve my emotional issues.
I feel rejected because I was rejected by most of my so-called friends.
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And if my voice cracks, so does Guettel's.
I'm competent; that's all I have to be as a singer.
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I'm definitely not using the All Blacks song.
I don't think it's for that show: it's for the movie.
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The pattern of trying to negatively reinforce me has been a failure.
So yeah, I don't have to smoke in front of you, but I will smoke.
I don't have to - I want to. It genuinely helps with my work.
I'm not planning to smoke at work again. But I will be smoking at home. I will be smoking at the park.
I'm not Sandra. My friends who got me high did so because they liked being able to control me.
But I like getting high for my own reasons; It genuinely is a muscle relaxant. It definitely helps.
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So yeah, I have to debate people. But let's be fair: we can all agree my compositions are genuine and they are unique.
Those pieces are my property. And most of them were generated by booze or weed. And some by LSD or DMT - Call O' The Wind was about changa.
So you may dislike me while I'm high, but the creative result is undeniable.
I don't care how great the 'chemistry' was between me and my old world, I got pretty horrific reactions to being Amanda for the first time from those people. -
Yeah, I got pretty horrific about Barbara, but that wasn't because I was high.
That was because I had the sense she wasn't out there supporting me because plain and simple she wasn't writing back to me.
That's what has cued most of my anger. My so-called friends who never wrote me. 👍
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I am not going to come around to Don's way of thinking.
So spy on me, but accept that I will be drunk and high. And accept that I may rant.
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