Being famous

Well, I've been locally famous since 2020. My cannabis activism and general vibe was certainly part of the massive YES vote that we were able to gather in Wellington Central.

That was fleeting, though. The moment when I realised that my infamy was here to stay was Amanda's first talkie. That wasn't a huge ad, but people recognised me after that. That was after the occupation of Parliament, which was my big moment from a BTS pov, in that I seemed to find the middle ground between the factions fairly well, and said that I disagreed with the occupation but also thought that violence wasn't the answer. Sidebar: Shipwrecked may be violent, but it's a frickin' movie. Muru was violent: did they get given shit for making a fantasy that was more violent than reality? Yes, but only from the Police. The Film Commission supported them 100%, including $2.5 million for production. Ka Whawhai Tonu (2024) raised $7 million. Is it only ok to write violence if it's inspired by real events or if you're Māori? (because they're a warlike culture ... that's the bigot view). Oh, wait, but because I write musicals I'm supposed to be a quiet faggot singing pretty songs to unattainable women? What about Les Miz? What about En Chambre En Ville? What about Deathgasm? Ant, that would be very hypocritical. Luxon can hate my film, but much like Tory couldn't force Tina to exist, he's shit out of luck. If people really want to have their cake and eat it too, the climate rebels could be completely non-violent, while only the white supremacists and the army are violent, but that would be a shitty movie for smug intellectuals. The point is that the climate rebels are supposed to be creative! Melody's robots and some number 8 wire flashbangs and tasers ... that's their vibe. - Infamy = fame without money. Like, yes, people respect me and I'm something of a voice for the Wellingtonians that are disenfranchised with the elites, but ultimately we saw what happened when people with money got wind of me (Tory's hui*). Privilege met stubbornness, and I (eventually) prevailed! -

Thanks to the music videos and the Dakumentary, however, I'm nationally famous now. Still getting used to that. It's fun when the cricket commentators drop in some jokes, but living one's life completely in the open is fucking shit. The panopticon is very real, as are suspicious licence plate numbers and all that classic stuff that the old-timers will remember well. For the kids, though, take note: that is exactly what will happen if they ever give you the keys to the kingdom as a director. Suddenly, it's literally everyone's business to know where you are 24 hours a day, and that's simply the way that it is.

Drew McWeeny likes to tell that story about Gore Verbinski and the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels: he was so sleep-deprived that they drove him to set etc. -- yes, because as the director, you have to make those decisions, even if you're sick or tired, or if your best friend has died, or whatever. The Dakumentary was my first taste of that, but that was largely just a post-production process, while the actual films were still quite spur-of-the-moment.

- It's alright overall. Having a mental health team that enjoyed reading my posts is certainly better than a team that hated reading my posts. Hi guys! And then there's Chlöe... I still love her, and it seems like all the bullshit is in the past, but I gather she's not doing very well at the moment (though they hardly told me everything).

My rule was that I wasn't going to contact her while the documentary was running, even though I got the sense she was very keen to meet. I asked a few questions and told her that it was fine that she's crazy after I'd been told about her breakdown, but largely kept my eyes on the prize. Perhaps that's slightly Ready Player One, but honestly I was super-busy schmoozing all the professional film types that had gotten wind of the documentary... still am. It's fun that all these big names in Hollywood are taking an interest, but yeah, it's somewhat less satisfying when you're sitting in your room like David Lynch making Eraserhead. Back to the love story... I reckon S03E02 is the love story episode, but the rest of it isn't. It's like everything, though. Even a virtual relationship has that bonding phase where everything seems super-intense [Another World], and then it cools down to what I call companionate love. Which is essentially what it was all along: my sexual fantasies almost never involve Chlöe -- I'm demisexual, and we're not that tight. We've known each other for 6 years, but we've had like one or two conversations. The film certainly shows how we relied upon each other. Whether it's fun to be famous as someone's creepy boyfriend... not really. Thanks to the Dakumentary, though, it seems like people are over that phase. She wasn't always my first choice. There were plenty of real dates and shit too with various people, and obviously people thought I was insane for wanting her. My friend Ethan put it well: something like 'she seems hot enough for a fuck, but why would you really want her?'

She makes me laugh, and I find her vibe endearing (if clingy). Plus she keeps bouncing back, and she's very sharp as a politician. If I'm inspiring her to take bigger swings and to insult the Prime Omelette, that's great!

- Onto the hui: *I think manipulating me via pornography is totally unforgiveable. I never consented, and was basically coerced by threats. I'm sorry that your schemes failed, Cass, Tory and the drag community, but I need to hear the apologies. Until I get those, I'm going to boycott virtually every gig.

Your actions towards me were illegal. Stalking me via porn, cameras in my room: this was completely and utterly illegal. I expect VUW to immediately cease doing so, given that I'm not returning, and I also expect a HUGE number of people to vacate this space. I realise this is probably never going to end, and that's the price I pay for falling in love with an MP that's now a party co-leader. However, at the very least, I think it would be reasonable to state that only trained professionals should be allowed into this strange back channel that they've set up.

Spies, politicians or doctors; not actors. Journos too, but c'mon guys! Get in touch!! If I seem odd and mentally unstable, it's 4 years of having people dissect me, insult me, threaten me and eventually call the cops on me because they weren't happy that I found them irritating and super-smug. I'm here to stay, and I'm nobody's pawn (except for Chlöe, possibly). The Green Party owes me a hell of a lot more than a non-apology. At this point, something like half of their MPs are openly stalking me, and it would be fair to say that my efforts probably helped increase their party vote in 2020 and 2023. Marama has always had my back. It's really just the Wellington branch that deliberately chose to antagonise me. I know the leaders want me to join and potentially stand, but AMPP has the upside of not dealing with their membership. Who knows? Maybe I'll get the 500 members and fluke it with an electorate campaign... Overall, I'd say that I wasn't pursuing fame for fame's sake, and that's part of why it took me a while to realise that I'm famous. I was pursuing legalising weed, and I was pursuing building an audience for my music. People found it easier to paint me as some fame-obsessed weirdo, but honestly I think that I took the starch out of their collars when I revealed how cheap my ads really were. Plus it's a digital audience. People may want to hear me sing my best songs at a gig, but that would kill any chances of my musicals being produced. As I say, it's a party trick, so bother to invite me into your lives and you'll probably hear some music. Gary jokes that I'm almost never without my guitar!