I'm loving this new world where I can talk openly about being surveilled thanks to the Dakumentary. That's what I think was the single best part of that: it wasn't great to have my crush on Chloe under the microscope, but I think I came off fairly well under that scrutiny.. it's just a crush, and it's my fault that it hasn't become anything more. 👋 - I'm reviving the ALL CAPS from 2020: I think they had uses, and I'm fairly cranky, so it's apropos. The more interesting question is why would I make up such a code as Myths and Legends or my phone journals?
Well, during 2019 it was mostly random chance, but from 2020 forward yes I started to do cryptic crossword bs for fun, but also for the reason of confusing the fuzz or anyone else who wasn't in on the lingo.
When I was defending weed publicly, I behaved like a pro. But my personal page, I saw as a way to let off steam, and that's how I handled 2020.
When you're in my shoes and sensing that click on the other end of the line, one tends to try to find some kind of privacy, which is why I utterly hated sharing my secret folders with y'all. That's not something that I felt was earned, and that's why I'm simply not speaking to anyone who was involved with all that. -
This is why I'm not nice. But yes, legally I totally own my IP and that is making it hard to persuade me to give in. I will only ever say no until my needs are respected, my life goals are respected, and nobody is trying to force me into stage/screen roles. When I say no to those things, accept that if you think I'm intellectually disabled that you have exploited me relentlessly and I will not budge BECAUSE of that. Plus that I'm not. I have a speech impediment, but I'm book-smart, and surprisingly have become street-smart due to my misspent youth. 🤣
Spying on my wanks might have 'saved' me, but it's made me unwilling to bend, and TOTALLY unwilling to even talk to anyone who was involved. Yes, that includes Chloe... it's not something I'm planning to forgive and I cannot laugh about it because when I laugh at you lot, you all try to sue me. -
That's why i'm not laughing. I can take a joke, but you're the ones with power here and privilege. Even my fake wife isn't that famous, or that rich, so let's not pretend like the NZSM wasn't paying $100,000 or so to most of the major teachers.
I will ONLY ever say no to ANYONE who cannot accept AMANDA. That's all I'm saying, and they're the ones finding that difficult. I have zero desire to save the NZSM. I'd rather they all got fired and faced my side of the tracks for a wee while... I've been there for 7+ years now. I'm glad that their bubble has been burst by my critiques, and that I said a lot of truth.
I cannot pretend a fake life, Tam. That's why I'm somewhat irked that you haven't written to me after I called you out last year. That's why I'm not nice. 👁️
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Mary, I bet you're a handful. But I think queen me was a touch tougher than you were expecting, and that's one of those generational things.
'80s me probably wouldn't have been as hard as 2010's me. That's an extra 30 years of the War on Drugs driving everyone further underground, and also the whole culture wars thing happening when I was coming out.
So the main reason I will only ever say no to 'Tina ha' is simple: I came out already, and I cannot fake it. They weren't supportive then, so now they get to watch, listen and not judge, or they get to back off entirely and accept I will not license my successful compositions.
That's my choice. I don't need to be a famous composer. I'd rather be a great journalist or writer. I've written my best piece already, and I doubt it's terribly likely that I'd ever write another piece as good as These Words Are Meant For Someone. That's probably my masterpiece, and I wrote that when I was 21.
While I enjoy writing songs, I mostly enjoy the challenge of fitting them to my musicals, and that's why I'm so stubborn. Nobody liked POAK until the movie came out, and These Words was premiered way back in 2017, and nobody gave a shit until 2022.
I'm sure that Shipwrecked will win everyone over too, if they let me stick to my future setting, and let me decide the bloody ending: if you buy it, then you can pick the ending, but if it's me, I'm going scorched earth and killing off about half the cast in the Waitangi Day finale. 🤣
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