positive thinking is bullshit

Telling people to reframe their thoughts as positive only has the effect of saving the privileged from uncomfortable emotions.

It’s that way of thinking that is flawed; NZers aren’t good at expressing emotions, but I am. It’s your fault if you’re too chicken to share with me (despite listening to my tapes).

And retail therapy is similarly a coping mechanism only the well-off can afford. The whole thing smells like bullshit to me: I’m sick of the whole ‘you’re not a Kiwi’ attitude that people are bringing to the table .. maybe I’m not a typical bloke, but I’m definitely adept with the Kiwiana. 👍

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And the infantilising – not into that kink. Don’t know why people think that… being a sub doesn’t mean you’re into everything, and I’m not into that.

The ‘baby girl’ thing was something that really happened to me, as was the boobs spilling out of the top (though the swearing was fiction).

I like being dominated, but that’s hardly unusual. Lots of guys dress up in their rooms: that’s why I hate the whole ‘it’s sexual’ vibe that people interpret onto my clothes: no, if it was only sexual, then I’d only do it in my room. 😤🤬😤

I want to live my life like a woman. That’s why I have gender dysphoria as one of my real psychiatric diagnoses. The kind of woman I am is inspired by my role models: which, for me, are real-life women who I admire - Jane and Barbara are the most obvious, but Chloe too.

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My characters aren’t me: they’re usually based on real people, or composites. Even Tina isn’t me, as she isn’t a political activist and isn’t attending Parliament to do caricatures.

I can see why Sondheim was so cranky about that: it’s quite irritating when people think you’re the characters, when I mostly think of my writing as transcription and imagination.

Amanda on the Weed Tapes is pretty much me, though obviously I’m trying to impress a girl, so it’s a wee bit airbrushed. 😀

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I don’t want to work with people atm. I’m very busy, and I am not doing the soap. I can’t be clearer than that: I’m not doing it, though I do think my scripts are good.

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I think people will find the book very interesting. It’d be nice to finish a draft of my musical before my birthday, but it’s harder than I thought it would be.

I felt more secure writing about the Mainland, while as manuhiri on the North Island, I feel awkward and feel under-researched to tackle the war part of my script.

I’ll be at the library next week to finish the Georgina book; hopefully I’ll come across something inspiring.

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Why? Why what? 🤣 Oh, the caricatures: well, one of my first thoughts about the AI and Deep Dream Generator was that it could be used to create animations.

It took me years to think up the roto animations as a potential use for the engine, but I started with my DMT gif, and made a series of those experimenting with colour contrasts and the illusion of motion from still shots/famous artworks.

That was 2020, but I was mostly using stills rather than moving ones (like the St. Michael series 🧐). I came up with the political caricatures during 2021, returning to Facebook full-time after a year off licking my wounds and writing songs. I reckon they probably helped me get hired, as it’s the sort of thing media people dig. Weeded Out seems to have gone down well with the pros as well.