I messed up re: one of the rhymes.
It's supposed to go 'sands, hands, strands, lands'
The lands of time was a line that I thought was particularly poetic.
Hence: 'The lands of time
Are drawing near
Tear my mask off
Face my fear(s).'
'my' instead of 'your' because it's Rose unburdening to Jo.
I might use 'fears' also... that's the sort of thing Don does.
-
This algebra problem thinking is what makes show lyrics different.
One of Ingrid's ideas about pop songs is that the flubs guide the evolution of the song, while for musicals it tends to be the dramatic situation that demands certain things to move the narrative action forward.
Hence there's often structural motifs within the score lyrically as well as musically. I'm not wonky enough to tease all that shit out, but it's obvious if you study the scores.
This idea of spinning out a rhyming phrase from the title is an odd motif, but I think it's effective.
As for The Mist and the identities in the chorus So let's be wild and free Be like we were before -- let me quote Finishing The Hat: 'Emotional statements are sometimes effective using identities, because the repetition of the sound parallels the intensity of the feeling; it's a technique particularly favored [sic] by Hammerstein ("Younger than Springtime am I/Gayer than laughter am I"). I've never come across a near rhyme that works better than a perfect one would.' 🤣 - So, yes I quote Sondheim selectively. I think the Kiwi accent is more malleable around rhyme than American English, and that deliberate near rhymes can add another rhythmic layer to the lyrics. It's tricky, though. I'd recommend starting with perfect rhyme, then mastering slant rhymes…