Some of the classic trans ones that have been bandied about over the last several years from people that didn't have the guts to confront me kanohi ki te kanohi, and a few that were actually said to my face:
1. Presuming that being trans was inherently a sexual thing, and only a sexual thing, even though it's a gender identity, not a sexual orientation.
2. Presuming that I was primarily attracted to men, and that dedicating pieces to people implied sexual attraction. I might actually add that Portrait of a Knight was dedicated to my real father, which is why I'm particularly angry about this whole 'you were too in love with Sondheim or McGlashan' -- neither of those guys thought that. It's Father's Day, so this is a good time to guilt trip the stalkers.
3. The idea that my 'persona' is somehow dumber than the effeminate boy that everyone always thought was more like a girl than a guy. Amanda was always my composing self. 4. Presuming that stage roles would satisfy my dress-up desire, rather than accepting that I came out specifically because I wanted to live my real life as something other than some boring cis guy in boring trousers and shirts. 5. Presuming that a medical transition, up to and including gender reassignment surgery, was the only way to relieve dysphoria. That is not backed up by clinical evidence. https://chatgpt.com/share/dbbe5110-1118-46b1-8b7c-1ee13c2f7ddd I trained my voice myself, and I like it the way that it is. It's not a million miles from Dana or Carmen's way of talking. 6. Presuming that getting off to trannie porn implied a fetish. I also wank to images of women in cool clothes and to all kinds of weird stuff... it's porn: it's a fantasy, but I do totally grab style ideas from things I wank to.
You'd never say that a straight person has a fetish for getting off to kinky straight porn unless they also practiced it IRL. You'd never say a gay person is 'wrong' for watching gay porn when they want to pleasure themselves.
7. Presuming that 'passing' was inherently better than non-passing. That's actually the single worst thing that people repeatedly and constantly said behind my back, and they need to apologise for that.
8. Presuming that I was into queer theory when I explicitly foregrounded Indigenous models of gender diversity, including their occurrence in Western cultures.... everyone remember that 'Not Man, Not Woman' paper?
9. Presuming my transition was some kind of stunt because I refused to post endless selfies of myself on Facebook. I'm only doing it now because people want to see the clothes, but it shouldn't have been important whether I posted pictures. Anyone who was living in my real life between 2019 and today has seen me in a variety of different outfits. Maybe people should have gotten to know me IRL, instead of wishing that I post pictures online. 10. Even my virginity was taken as a sign of being somehow 'wrong' ... I hope that all my so-called allies are feeling chastened and starting to realise why I'm demanding a real and formal apology before I reintegrate with their bigoted society.
That laundry list is largely for VUW and the Wellington arts community. Given that my fresh style caught on and there's now a shitload of guys doing it, I think they owe me an apology.