To The Spinoff (and all the journos)

You asked me to read those articles about the airport sale, Joel, so I did.

A big rant follows. I'm well enough, but I'm fucking angry and need to vent. I'm way too poor to afford a subscription - I steal The Post - but this series of articles about the airport sales is ringing a lot of bells about how I felt when Tory and Nadine targeted me in 2022.

- First up, I'd asked for a one-on-one meeting with Chloe to discuss drug law reform, and this was fobbed off by Sarah. I asked two or three times over a couple of months. Then, all of a sudden, Lucinda's telling me about this Tory Whanau hui. I wasn't keen, so then Lucinda replies to tell me that Chloe's going to speak at it, and I was eventually persuaded to attend. Now, what I thought I was signing up for was a proper meeting where arts policy would be discussed in depth, though at some point it became a fundraiser.

In Chloe's defence, I was being avoidant. We were 'supposed' to meet in 2021 at Mandy Hager's book launch, but I took DMT and LSD with Jeffery. Then there were several opportunities on Parliament Grounds where we could have spoken, but for various reasons I didn't. Lots of whakamā about all the Parliament stuff -- didn't really see what someone like me was doing there.

Could've spoken to her at the hui, but I was basically scared shitless after the first half, which had many jokes at my expense or my brother's regarding the occupation. Ridiculous, given that I firmly established that I wasn't keen on that protest, and that it virtually ran counter to my view that large protests are stupid. Stephen wasn't there, so it felt like I was supposed to take the hit instead. -

As we all know, the event turned out to be very much a targeted attempt to persuade me to produce Weeded Out. That's fair enough: it was a TV show and could've brought in a lot of money, but the suggestions that I wouldn't have creative control and had to be a man that guided everyone through the gay scene weren't fair. This particular part of the agenda was the second half, ie the part after Chloe left, when it genuinely felt as if the explicit intention was to force a detransition, with those flashing accusations as the linchpin. That's how the finale felt, Tory and Nadine. You absolutely intended it as such, and that's what I discovered when I went home and had a wank, only to see an image that was clearly signalling that Tory and Chloe were spying on me. As I've established, this was well after the conversion therapy bill became law.

My notes are long gone, but my longtime readers will probably be aware that I asked Tory a question about how she might support the arts economy, and she answered something like 'by supporting specific projects' ... I saw that as an alright answer, as I hadn't put two and two together until after the hui (I'm like that .. it takes a wee while).

- Their behaviour following my decision to pull the plug on Weeded Out in early 2023 was reprehensible. Suddenly, I'm some sick deluded freak. Suddenly, I'm an erotomanic criminal. Suddenly, I'm getting strong hints to pursue Weeded Out to avoid charges. That's actually blackmail.

I wasn't saying I wanted to fuck Chloe: I was saying I wanted to marry her. Though I'm hardly an expert on chick flicks, a lot of them have stories that involve someone in a shitty relationship switching to another person.

Given this bullshit, I'd say Nadine's probably a shitty person.

I might also add that my whole shtick of writing letters to well-known people was firmly established by 2021, let alone 2023. Chloe was one of those, and possibly the most frequent, but I literally made my name on trolling Kiwi celebrities.

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While I'm on my high horse, there's another scandal I'd love to get an answer regarding: way back in 2021 or 2022, some group of producers got a six-figure sum to make a documentary called Being Chloe about the 2023 election. As far as I can tell, that documentary never happened, and I made The Dakumentary. So, my question is: did they have to pay back the money? Did the flood kill it? This is what I mean when I say the Greens have far too much media influence. It's diminishing, though, as all of us progressives are growing increasingly fed-up with their fucking smarmy self-satisfaction and lack of progress. -

The idea of moving me to the 'halfway house' in Johnsonville - after their pressure caused me to go totally insane and destroy a lot of equipment - in order to sober me up and convince me to become a man again was the beginning of the end for them.

That's when I got angry. But, more importantly, that's when I found my voice as a trans activist as opposed to a weed activist. Like, when I called my mental health team, they reassured me to stick it out and continue being Amanda, but I was getting a LOT of pressure to be Michael. It was basically constant until after my Latin-Punk New Wave album, and it still continues to this day. Nadine must've convinced Jane, Owen and VUW to take her side.

Red Scare must've been told that they could secure funding by the old Film Commission.

- This is a real conspiracy, and I was the victim of it. Where is my justification? Where is my apology? Where is my compensation for the work I put in? Where's my six-figure sum for the documentary that I made pro bono? Oh, wait, I'm not good enough. I'm too gay. I'm too different.

I'm too sick. I'm too wrong. I'm too ugly. I'm hopelessly in love with someone who is from another social class -- that's what erotomania actually means (that's how it was explained to me), while anyone that's seen the Dakumentary would know that Chloe and I have spookily similar backstories and come from the same social class.

I actually had no idea whether she was infatuated with me, other than the bullshit that turned up in my porn feed as a way of controlling me (yes, I know that's what happened ... the porn control started in 2020 after my first manic insomnia protest).

As everyone was shocked to discover, my 2020 Ad with the Irving Berlin song actually had nothing to do with her, and that was literally the reverse: they presumed that I was infatuated with her. I was definitely open about the crush, but I actually congratulated her on her impending nuptials in 2020. Seriously: if she really does stalk me, she'd remember. Off-hand, I remember mentioning that it was a very classy announcement.

I wanted Michelle C, who is Malaysian and brown. That's who the song was for. - They - the Wellington Green dickheads - used my crush on Chloe as a way of gaining access to my private files and my secrets. That's what happened after I skipped the 2021 meeting. That's gaslighting, right?

Why aren't James and Cass sitting in a police interview room justifying their obsession with me? Why haven't they gotten fired from the Greens ... I gather they're staffers now?

Why is Nadine only willing to speak to me now that Chloe's not well?

- My two cents: I was dragged before the FTAC because the porn control failed. A lot of Greens people enabled my delusion, yet that wasn't mentioned. The only reason that Sarah filed a police report was because I said no to the movie, and she found my emails annoying.

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Btw this is why I'm opposed to Five Eyes. Well, I already was, but this proves that NZ already has advanced surveillance capabilities.

Advanced enough to essentially keep a 24/7 watch on an activist over a period of multiple years, to generate pornographic images with the explicit purpose of attempting to alter this person, and advanced enough to make it very difficult to prove.

Maybe if you'd chosen another method, my sexual life wouldn't have been an issue.... that's something for my enemies to consider. You chose to see me as a transvestic fetishist, which isn't even a specific diagnosis anymore, because it suited your belief that my bearded lady expression was sick and wrong. Am I to understand that the Greens believe in autogynephilia, or at least are willing to use that language to invalidate a trans person? To be fair, when I realised that something was fishy, I blocked my news feeds, so the porn is virtually the only real opportunity they have to communicate with me (y'know, other than email, phone or text like grown-ups).

As I discovered while actually doing the research, Nadine is a former intelligence officer. That's why I'm pointing the finger at her. She would've had the knowledge to do this to me, and it was totally illegal.

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I hope that this clarifies for all the journos, but particularly the ones that know me IRL. So, yeah, I'm demanding an immediate apology and I think compensation should be a real and serious part of that apology.