To Tory and Tamatha

You two don't know me, but of course you know my nemeses. I don't have to help them and I plain don't want to: nothing they've *not* said or done has made me compelled, and I don't want to work with people who genuinely dislike me and were annoyed about my singing practice. I say nemesis in the sense that Ted Gioia uses the word: read this - https://tedgioia.substack.com/p/you-dont-need-a-mentorfind-a-nemesis "The first thing to understand is that your nemesis is not your enemy. Or, put differently, your nemesis is more than just an enemy. Rather, the nemesis is an adversary is who is like your dark twin. Even as you battle with the nemesis, you share a kind of DNA. The gaze at your nemesis is like looking into a mirror, but one of those fun house mirrors at the carnival, where everything is both recognizable and distorted." [...]

"As mentioned above, artists often benefit from identifying a nemesis. Art history is full of examples—Constable and Turner, Michelangelo and Raphael, Brunelleschi and Ghiberti, Picasso and Matisse, etc. For example, the inspired daub of red paint in Helvoetsluys by J. M. W. Turner was allegedly inspired by the painter’s desire to outshine his rival John Constable when both were participating in the same exhibition." [...] "Next, be sensitive to the true nature of the people who cause problems in your life. I have reached the realization that some of my fiercest critics have picked me out as their nemesis. They never consulted me about this—in fact, they’re usually people I’ve never met face-to-face, but that’s probably why I’m able to serve this role in their psyches. If we had met, I might have turned into a mentor. At least, that’s how I prefer to view the dynamic at play. This doesn’t necessarily make me want to run off and have a beer with them. But I do grasp that the true nature of our relationship is richer than meets the eye. If I just viewed them as enemies or fools, I would miss out on the opportunities for growth that their confrontations provide me with." - So yeah, this is how I view Cassandra and Luke. I have criticisms of their work, they have criticisms of mine, and I'm just not interested in grabbing a beer, let alone singing for people who don't know me, and only want my voice (while totally denying my gender identity or the political issues I stand for). I'm not their Jack Cassidy or their comic relief for an opera idea I geniunely think sucks balls, and that's because I compose too. I care far more about writing songs than performing other people's music, and that's because I got a degree in composition and have spent the last decade trying to become a composer. I do not want to do stage work. That is my stance, and it has always been about movie musicals for me. That's my métier, and that is where my work has always been designed for. It's my point of difference, to use corporate jargon. That tape may have been good luck, but actually it was chutzpah: Sondheim replied to most student letters that he received, and either of them could have had the same idea. Whether his letter to me is significant to biographers or musicals queens is only because we made the movie, and it was fairly good. They had the good fortune to go to NYU (probably on scholarships) and get trained by the new generation of songwriters. So don't tell me I'm lucky: they're the lucky ones who get their work subsidised and get fancy prizes, while I toil in relative obscurity. So yeah... that's the full story.