The reason I don't like them is because the way Cass makes fun of me is really mean and I hate it. Cass and James both patronise and infantilise me. Somehow I'm not as good cos I didn't go to New York.
Somehow I'm not as good because both my parents aren't rich.
Somehow I'm not as good because they're so smarmy that they work in PR for a living.
Somehow I'm not as good because I'm essentially asexual and single. No, I must be an incel ... no, I'm voluntarily celibate (though I wank).
Been married before - with my twin ... people joked about it - and haven't been convinced that I'm ready to settle for a person (or that it's safe to date).
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And then these uptown wankers have the balls to say that I have to make their self-aggrandising script revisions to get funding ... well, when that became clear, I said sod it and wrote a bunch of different scripts and started my book.
They think I need their lessons on how to behave, but I think they're wrong. They don't have my experience of being so well-known that I have all these important fans, though people are always sceptical when I say that cos I'm not rich or 'successful' I'm an underground artist. It's like people being into Crumb or Maus, and those fans haven't really contributed any donations thus far, so it's still just my indie thing that I've been doing for the last 3 or 4 years. My rivals aren't thinking in that same way about their audience, which is basically just their mates and colleagues, while my audience is large and international, even though it's something that I play down cos it's really just numbers in platforms and I haven't done any touring overseas. I'd rather people thought of me as someone who writes good songs or directs movies. Though people might have enjoyed the documentary, that was real life, so it wasn't really a 'performance' in the way that acting a role is. I'm not really keen to do that, but I'm quite happy to do comedy for the skit show. How does it feel to be famous? Eh, it's alright. All those MPs complaining about fame are being paid really well, so I think it's our right to hold them to account. While I'm unpaid, and think that people are treating me as if I'm rich cos I'm well-known. I thought that NZ was a pretty decent place to be a celebrity, and I still think that. The culture is increasingly toxic, though, and we've certainly had an emergence of a right-wing culture on social media that isn't helping me very much.
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